Excerpts

#19: The Numbers

Statistics aren’t perfect. Many factors need to be considered when looking to them for information and guidance; such as who was surveyed, where, and just how many of those surveyed were honest. (Whether that means reporting a real incident or not reporting one at all.) Many victims and witnesses of bullying don’t report it making it difficult to accurately measure this epidemic. The numbers that are available shine a small light on a big, big problem. Here are just a few of those numbers:

160,000 kids miss school every day because they fear being bullied. (National Education Association.)

80% of U.S. middle school students surveyed had bullied someone during the last month. 1 out of 10 worry about being attacked. And 80 to 90% report some form of victimization by bullies at school.

According to the 2009 Indicators of Crime and Safety, only about 1/3 of victims report the incident to someone at school.

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 46% of males, and 26% of females reported they had been in physical fights.

These statistics along with many others can be found through books and the Internet. But, if you really want to get a grasp on how widespread and re-occurring bullying is, simply turn to a school-aged child and ask them three questions. Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever witnessed bullying? Have you ever heard about someone else being bullied? Their answers will be all the proof you need.

#64: Stand Out from the Crowd

Should the victim fight back or should the victim run away from the bully? In my opinion and in the opinion of many who have written on the subject, neither fighting back or running away are effective long-term solutions.

Fighting back with physical violence will not help. It won’t lesson the problem and it won’t guarantee that the bully will back down. In fact, in many cases, it only heightens the bully’s aggression. Remember that bullies thrive on power and control. If the victim fights back with physical violence, the bully, by nature, will come back tenfold with more violence to ensure that he/she is the victor, the one in control. It may not happen right away, but the chances are high that it will happen. Fighting back also teaches the victim to handle problems with violence, which is never a good idea. Remember, it could easily turn the victim into a bully, expressing their anger and shame by beating up other kids.

Running away or “flight” should be used if the victim is being physically threatened or attacked. No one should stand still and take physical abuse out of pride. So if there is danger or physical harm involved, the victim should run to the near-est adult or to the nearest safe location. Such an instance needs be reported right away so the bully doesn’t get away with the behavior. Run-ning away and doing nothing only allows the bully to continue. Chances are he will target the same victim, ensuring that next time the victim can’t run.

If the situation isn’t physically threatening, then standing up for yourself and walking calmly away is your best option. Running away in these nonviolent situations only tells the bully to continue, that his tactics are instilling fear, which is what he wants. Besides, the chances are that run-ning will cause the bully to follow ending in violence.

This is why the victim should stand tall, breathe deeply and firmly tell them to stop. By staring through the bully and standing tall, the victim is letting the bully know that his taunts aren’t affecting him. The victim should then walk away.

 

 

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